You are a Liar and You Don't Even Know It.

Hello, everyone. I hope you enjoyed the last blog I did on source versus consequence. If you haven't read it, please go back and take a look. https://www.shiftmastery.com/blog/b/source-or-consequence It gives a really good basis as to how you can begin to transform your life.

 Today I want to go into another very deep topic. It may be a little difficult for you to hear as it was for me. However, it is very important in the transformation. What it is in reference to is lying. Now, if you're like me I think most people try to be honest and tell the truth. We think that we are honest people and typically we don't care for people that lie to us.

We don't want to be lied to. I know for me it was a belief that I tell the truth. I don't lie. Then a little over two years ago, I was in a coaching program, and I was forced to be real and honest with myself, and face the fact that I was a liar. I had been lying my entire life.

I'm not talking about the lies like “I gotta stay late at work”, when you're really going out somewhere you shouldn't go, or anything like that. I'm not talking about lies like that. I'm talking about the lies that we don't think are lies and most importantly, the lies that are extremely damaging to us.

The lies that we don't think are lies are ones that are not the whole truth and even the little white lies. You know, all these little things that are not factually and completely true, are lies. And while some of them may seem innocent and you might say them so that you don't hurt someone's feelings, they're still lies. 

They're lies. They're not anything else. They are lies.

You need to understand and accept the fact that those are lies. So don't think, as I did, “ I tell the truth. I'm not a liar.” and then you turn around and you tell these little white lies or you don't tell the whole truth. 

Yes, there are times where you're going to have to really think about what to say because it may be a little hurtful to the person. However, most people will appreciate the honesty as opposed to saying something that won't hurt their feelings now, but later they find out that you lied. Even if it's a little white lie, those are the things that can damage the foundation of relationships, whether it's a intimate relationships type situation with a spouse or a business relationship or anything like that. 

These little white lies, these little less than whole truths undermine the foundations of trust. So I would say be aware of these and start consciously thinking on ways to say what you need to say that is truthful, and in a kind way. 

The other type of lie which is extremely damaging are the lies that we tell ourselves. 

I was lying to myself all the time for most of my life and I did not realize it. The big problem with that is, we believe ourselves. You may not believe anyone else, but you will believe yourself. So if you're lying to yourself, you're going to believe it. Now, you can't lie to yourself and say that you're a billionaire if you're not, because your subconscious mind is going to know that's a lie and it's going to completely dismiss that. 

However, when, if you tell yourself, I'm not good enough, or I'm not smart enough, I'm not tall enough, I'm not short enough, I'm not this, I'm not that, or whatever, you will believe that. Then you will begin acting on that. Those lies are extremely dangerous and they can undermine everything that you're trying to do. 

Generally what I find out is that people will be lying to themselves. You know, the negative self talk that we talked about in the previous blog. These lies that you tell yourself have got to stop. You've got to stop lying to yourself and others about you. 

You've got to stop lying to yourself. 

You've got to stop lying to other people. 

You've got to stop lying.

And believe me, it is a difficult pill to swallow when you sit down or you stand in front of the mirror and you look at yourself and you realize that you've been lying. And, you've been lying to yourself about not being a liar. 

Stop lying.

Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to others and your life will begin to change just based on that because you will feel better about yourself. You'll feel better about yourself and begin to act differently. Other people may be a little upset at the start and not know how to react and not know that there's this little change. They're not really sure what's going on. But over time they're going to respect you more because they know that when you say something, that you're telling them the truth. Most importantly, you will be congruent in that aspect. 

Until next time, stop the lying. 

Remember, You shift your mind, You can master your life.